A Slight Addendum: hostel sex

A slight addendum to our tale...

Whilst I thought the sleep that overtook me near midnight thirty would be the last of my waking hours before morn, this was not to be, for at two o'clock who should appear at the door but an Aussie girl. But what's more, she was with a boy. A boy who did not stay in this room. Desperately I tried to return to the sleep from which I was woken. But then the sounds of zippers zipping and fabric shuffling.

Sleep graciously ripped me back to its quivering hold before any more terror could be heard – but then came loud knocking at the door, over and over; it was the girls friend – giving her time to stop doing what she was doing. Twice woken. Once more I fought for sleep. But nay, this time the soft cries and delighted yelps were well underway by the time I returned to slumber.

On and off for the next several hours, I was awoken by these two who were clearly trying to break some unheard of record spoken of only in the old lores. Springs creaked, beds moved across the floor, and voices shouted.

The only thing that slightly redeemed this would series of events was their brief conversation before the strange boy left, after the sun had risen, where the girl remarked sadly upon how the world was not quite complete. It was high time someone got their act together and developed what all Aussie females have been craving since the dawn of known history:

Vegemite condoms.